Category Archives: people
Mindfully Saying Thanks (sometimes you just have to)
The inclination to write this post crept up on me as I was doing my daily two-second (hah!) FB check this morning.
Something I saw there stood out so starkly…it appeared to be showing me the yin and yang of life itself.
As many FB users do, I subscribe to a few people and communities that interest me. Today, my FB wall had a juxtaposition of two themes that were such contrasts that it made me stop in my tracks and think.
Here is what I’m talking about. [It’s a screen snip so the links won’t work on the picture].
I don’t mean to wax philosophical so…but do you see what I see?
On the one hand, you have Mariam Tia. Courageous, tragic, bold, inspiring and as Mr.Kristof says “World leaders could use some of her backbone“. Do read her story and that of so many other Sudanese people caught in a merciless situation that they have to call “life”.
On the other hand, adjacent to her story, we have ….fashion designer Satya Paul – showcasing his beautiful, expensive creations that women love to drool over. [Satya Paul is the name of an eponymous Indian design house which creates and sells some fabulous high-end clothing, mostly for women].
It’s just that (through no fault of theirs!), sitting right next to Mariam’s story, posts on Satya Paul (and I?) seem so flighty, superficial, soft and silly. And yet, these thoughts would never have crossed my mind if I had not just spied those divergent images together, one right after another.
Both topics are of interest to me. Besides, Satya Paul is a substantial presence in the design world. How come then that just because I happened to see these images adjacent to each other, I feel so….well, icky? It’s also what got me thinking like this.
[Needless to say, if nothing else, I would like you to read Mariam’s story. Mariam, who named her baby daughter “Fakao” which means “bombs are dropping“…which was what was happening all around her when she was pregnant].
As I read her story, I thought to myself, Mariam and I live such different lives – yet here I am getting inconvenienced and unhappy with the most trivial of matters, despite basically living a good life where I have the time and means to lust after Satya Paul’s designs, using catch phrases like “life is beautiful“ so lightly, as banalities almost – without even thinking before spouting them.
How often do you and I truly acknowledge and value what we are so fortunate to have?
As I finished reading about Mariam, I simply came to a complete stop. Then, what I did very deliberately and mindfully was this:
I. Appreciated. My. Life.
And not just the happy stuff either but all of it – all that is inseparable, unchangeable and woven together.
I paid homage. To my friends and family, to my relationships and connections, to those who passed through my life and to those who entered and stayed. To my joys and sorrows, my successes and failures, my pleasures and regrets, my hopes and fears. In other words, to the yin and yang of a life that I am so fortunate to have.
And as I did this, I realized something else. Racing through life, giving more attention than they deserve to irritations, regrets, fears or troubles, I simply don’t give my holistic existence a solid pat on its back often enough. (How about you?)
Not to get too preachy, but whoever you are, as you are reading this, can I ask you to do something (and do it more than just once, please…maybe even once a day)?
Don’t just say it, but BELIEVE this: that your life is very beautiful indeed.
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It’s Celebration Time for the Hair-Challenged Male
Bald is beautiful. What a cliche! Until I began to notice in the past few years that, shoot, yes it is! Whether in a shopping mall, on the street or at my favorite visiting place (!), Atlanta Hartsfield International Airport (and now in India too), more and more men were going completely bald. By choice. And they were getting second and third looks. How about that?
I thought it was just me but then of course my favorite newspaper ran a piece on it recently. Bald is not only beautiful. It’s gone viral!
Yul Brynner didn’t know what he was starting. But, it sure took a while to catch on, didn’t it?
So, here’s the question, how come completely bald by choice is good, but partially bald by nature is not so hot (sorry guys)?
The good news is that there is a cool (really cool!) choice that men who have fretting for years can make. It’s not just men who fret, it’s their partners and their moms. I’ve seen it happen all the time.
That’s because 25% of men begin balding at age 30, and over 65% by age 60. There is a 4 in 7 chances that you may be the lucky one to receive the baldness gene. 🙂 And, further, men whose fathers had experienced hair loss were 2.5 times more likely to experience hair loss themselves, regardless of the mother’s side of the family.
Seriously though, the psychology of hair thinning is known to be a complex issue. Hair is considered an essential part of overall identity (especially for women, for whom it often represents femininity and attractiveness). But men too – they typically associate a full head of hair with youth and vigor.
Many are uncomfortable talking about the issue. Hair thinning is a sensitive issue for both sexes. For sufferers, it can represent a loss of control and feelings of isolation. People experiencing hair thinning often find themselves in a situation where their physical appearance is a contrast with their own self-image, and they end up anxious or even tormented about appearing older than they are or less attractive to others. Psychological problems due to baldness, if present, are typically most severe at the onset of symptoms.
How many of you know men who worry, worry and worry some more, while you are wondering why it’s such a big deal? Studies have shown just how big a deal it is for them. Homo sapiens and a touch (or more of) vanity seem to go very much hand-in-hand. It’s just how we’re made.
Coming back to the question I raised earlier – how come completely bald by choice is good, but partially bald by nature is not so hot? – a study that was conducted showed that males with facial hair and those with bald or receding hair were rated as being older than those who were clean-shaven or had a full head of hair.
While billions of dollars have been spent on how to halt baldness (Rogaine, Propecia, etc.) or reverse the process (hair transplants, hair pieces), it appears that there may be a much simpler solution after all.
The solution is real. It’s simple. It’s good. It’s cool. And it’s your choice to make. This is certainly good news for men and it appears that more of them are catching on. [Though not the guys below…yet].
So all you guys and girlfriends, wives and partners. And moms. Stop all your fretting! And try saying this:
Bald is beautiful. Bald is sexy.
As long as it’s completely bald. And by choice.
Have I convinced you yet? If I have, forward it to those you know who could use this.
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The Yin and Yang of Life Anywhere 