Category Archives: life
The Elixir of Life
Some housekeeping items first –
- This is not something I just made up.
- I have provided links to source material below to prove this; I hope you check them out.
- The related TED talk itself has been viewed 13 million times, perhaps even by you…it’s worth viewing again.
- I start with the conclusions because of how interesting they are.
- I focus on the conclusions because of how practical they are.
- I end with the conclusions because of how fruitful they are.
These conclusions have been derived from one of the longest study of people ever conducted – 80 years long with individuals from their teens to their very senior years, supplemented by many others over time.
Fundamentally, the study seeks to answer these questions –
What makes us healthy and happy as we go through life?
And if we were to invest in our future selves, where should we put our time and energy to reap those benefits of health and happiness?
The most intriguing part of this study are in fact the conclusions. Conclusions that have been painstakingly derived from a long and exhaustive process of collecting all manner of information and knowledge about the lives of the participants year after year after year.
And yes, these questions are indeed answered.
The conclusions say that it’s not wealth or work or fame that make you healthy and happy. They’re something else that seem like so much common sense and you wonder if it needed an 80+ year study to determine the answer to this most interesting enigma of life.
Drum roll, please…
The primary conclusion of the study, the answer to that key question is this:
Good relationships are what keep us happier and healthier. Period.
To expand on this conclusion further, there were these additional, interesting findings from this long study:
Social connections are great for us; loneliness kills.
It turns out that people who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier, they’re physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well connected.
The quality of your close relationships matter; whether it’s friendship, marriage, community…
Good, warm, satisfying relationships predicated happiness and good health. Those who had such relationships in their 50s grew to be healthier and happier in their 80s.
Good relationships result in not just in good physical health but in good mental health.
They did not just protect bodies but also protected minds with stronger memories versus earlier decline in memories.
Now, that I have given you something super simple and practical to think about practicing, I hope you also read about the study here. And watch this much viewed TED talk (12:40 minutes) on this topic as well. In fact, you can read all about the Harvard Study of Adult Development at their website…which kind of is the point of this post, to make you aware of the long study and its conclusions.
Truly speaking, as simple as all of this sounds, relationships are in fact complex and complicated. Good, strong relationships take effort. But as many of you know, the rewards you reap every day from your efforts are as significant as the efforts that you invest in your relationships. (Or not).
Ultimately, what this study demonstrates is that those rewards are even more impactful and their effects last so much longer than we ever knew or imagined.
So, go forth and invest in those awesome relationships! They bring you joy today and will bring you excellent physical health, mental health and happiness for a long time to come. Cheers!
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
―
How to think about death
Does that sound like a morbid topic to write about? Here’s me telling you it’s not. That’s not how to think about death.
I’m neither a poet nor that avid a fan of poetry. But I am definitely an ardent fan of the amazing treasure, Mary Oliver who passed on last year. She left with us and our descendents her riches to relish and cherish through all of time.
The way to think about death is to take a look at what she wrote about it. Whether I am introducing it or reintroducing it to you, it’s worth reading (again). Each word is a wonder, each phrase a discovery. Here is just one of the remarkable and insightful verses of her poem:
When it’s over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
It’s worth reading and savoring. Over and over again.
I am reproducing the entire poem below from the Library of Congress site so I don’t have to go looking for it everyday. As strange a thing as it is to say about death, do enjoy. In fact, do more than that. Take it to heart.
When Death Comes
When death comes like the hungry bear in autumn; when death comes and takes all the bright coins from his purse to buy me, and snaps the purse shut; when death comes like the measle-pox; when death comes like an iceberg between the shoulder blades, I want to step through the door full of curiosity, wondering: what is it going to be like, that cottage of darkness? And therefore I look upon everything as a brotherhood and a sisterhood, and I look upon time as no more than an idea, and I consider eternity as another possibility, and I think of each life as a flower, as common as a field daisy, and as singular, and each name a comfortable music in the mouth, tending, as all music does, toward silence, and each body a lion of courage, and something precious to the earth. When it's over, I want to say: all my life I was a bride married to amazement. I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms. When it's over, I don't want to wonder if I have made of my life something particular, and real. I don't want to find myself sighing and frightened, or full of argument. I don't want to end up simply having visited this world.
—Mary Oliver
© 1992 by Mary Oliver, from New & Selected Poems: Vol 1. Beacon Press, Boston.
There is a wonderful article published in The Atlantic this month, ‘Attention is the beginning of Devotion’ (stop and think about that for a minute) about Mary Oliver and her words of wisdom, so fabulously expressed. I hope you read that too and become a fan for life. Hers is wisdom ingrained with clarity and simplicity that is easy to grasp, easy to revere, easy to pursue.
The Yin and Yang of Life Anywhere 