Category Archives: United States
The Journey That I Can Never Forget
Last weekend was an important anniversary for me.
October 13.
That date, in all of its bittersweet glory, is indelibly marked on my brain.
It was the day that I set off on a very long journey, embarking on a fresh, new life to a different continent – with fear and confusion uppermost on my mind.
Picture an unsophisticated, super-naive just-turned seventeen year old girl from quite a few years ago in India.
It was an India that was before economic reforms, its first “shining”/”rising” periods and before we had the emancipated Indian youth of today. Oh yeah, it was also definitely before personal computers, the internet and global connectivity had made their arrival on the scene. I know, I know, that’s tough for some of you young ones to imagine.
And social media meant tea and a newspaper with your neighbor. It was not even a gleam in anyone’s eye. (Hint: Mark Zukerberg – born: May 14, 1984 – had not been conceived. In fact, had his parents even met yet?).
In case you didn’t get it, I’m giving you just enough information so you can guess at the general time frame and visualize that environment. Got it?
So, this girl was a typical teenager but one who had led a fairly sheltered life with a loving and protective family, and therefore you could say that she was not quite grown-up and certainly not worldly yet, especially when compared to similar aged kids of now. Or then.
Before she knew it or could absorb its impact on her future, she found herself engaged to be married to a person that her parents had picked out for her. He happened to live and work in the United States of America, an Indian immigrant in that too-faraway land of dreams.
When she got engaged, she had completed her tenth grade and done a few months of “Pre-University-PUC” in college, essentially the beginning of what would have been her junior (11th) year of high school.
A few months after the engagement and right before the wedding, lo and behold, for the very first time, she actually met the guy who would be her husband. [I know, I know – its simply mind-boggling how this sequence of events unfolded, like it was the dark ages – which it most certainly wasn’t. Even I’m bewildered whenever I think about it! ]
And then, before she knew what hit her, the wedding festivities came and went.
She was left in a complete daze, this teenage bride.
The process to get a green card when you marry a legal immigrant living in the United States takes a protracted amount of time today – a couple of years. If you’re lucky. I have met many people in this situation, always, always complaining about this delay.
That year, however, it took only a few weeks. That young bride, she just wanted to weep in frustration at the speed!
I still remember how she prayed that this milestone would be delayed, wishing that it would take much longer – so she would not have to leave behind her parents, her friends, her family, her country so soon – everything that she was familiar with in her life.
At that point in time, the very last thing she wanted to do was to abandon her comfort zone and race off to that distant and mysterious country and a brand new life.
To make matters worse, an entire army of family members came to the airport in Madras to wish her Bon Voyage. I mean, she was actually leaving all of them! And everyone and their mother (literally!) were weeping away to glory. 😦
How could this have happened?
As she sobbed and boarded her maiden flight (fumbling with her seat belt, not knowing what that contraption was there for, or how to unobtrusively figure out how the darned thing opened and closed…), there was no hope, no joy and very little expectation
Uppermost in her mind were fear, uncertainty and confusion – about what turns her life was about to take.
Landing amid the ocean of chaos that was JFK airport at the other end of the journey was not designed to calm her either. Pure culture shock!
The feelings of that journey are all so strongly etched, that no matter what happened afterwards, the heavy-duty emotions of October 13th endure still. Even more surprising – smaller memories such as the smell of that Air India aircraft when I first entered – even these have not faded away!
Fast forward and retrospect.
Yet, without that unwanted journey many years ago, there’s so much in life that she would have missed out on. (Yes, it’s so easy to say. Now).
Little did the young girl of that time realize that this journey would be one of the best things to happen to her!
That she would reach adulthood away from India and all that she was familiar with, but that everything would work out just fine. That she would survive. And that she would embrace (practically inhale!) each and every break that the land of opportunity would throw her way. And even some that it didn’t.
And that her most precious coup would be creating and nurturing a family, together with that long-ago stranger.
Little did she know.
[Hmmmmmmm…I guess my parents knew what they were doing after all. 😉 ]
Emotionally, that was one heck of a wrenching experience.
Which is why October 13 is such a red-letter day for me. It’s one that I will never forget.
Leaving her ties to India was truly heart-breaking for that green girl. Yet what wonderful cards life dealt her after the fact – with so many ways in which to learn and grow. Not all ups, mind you, but ups and downs.
The yin and yang.
What did I tell you? That’s what this life of ours is all about!
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P.S. And who ever imagined that I would be back as an expat for any period of time? To experience and savor the yin and the yang of (a new) India…I’m soaking it up like a sponge! Lucky me.
Cautious Optimism about Obama-2012 – Finally!
I actually wrote this post a few months ago when things were not so fine and dandy for Obama, thank you very much. 🙂
At that time, this post was titled “Nail-biting Anxiety about Obama-2012”. It’s nice to be able to change this title to something more positive, that actually reflects the ground reality today.
It’s amazing how much the race has changed in just a matter of 2-3 months! Today, I read articles with titles such as “Why Obama is Winning” and “How Mitt stumbled” (and has he ever!). While cautiously optimistic, I am not ready to declare Obama the winner and neither should any of his supporters. There’s also that article that says “Romney RIP – Not So Fast“.
After the two conventions, this is what the NY Times was saying, Sept 8: Conventions May Put Obama in Front-Runner’s Position and they were right. And this op-ed piece called “A Sugar High?” is one I got great joy out of reading. Positive for Obama but still…
The fact is anything can still happen in the remaining six weeks. Yes, it can! So, I just remain with crossed fingers, devouring everything I can read about the political scene at home.
The fact that things change so rapidly is reflected on what I wrote earlier:
Nail-biting Anxiety about Obama-2012
The last trip home in early summer was everything I expected. And more. On a personal level, it was all been about catching up with friends, cherishing new times with family, relishing home time and generally feeling very good about life. In a nutshell, it was a great time to make fresh, new, joyful memories.
But going home in mid-2012 also brought to the forefront something that has got me very worried indeed: the Presidential election of 2012 that will be here sooner than we think.
President Barack Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama walk with former President George W. Bush and former First Lady Laura Bush in the Cross Hall towards the East Room of the White House, May 31, 2012. The President and First Lady hosted a ceremony presenting the Bush’s official portraits, which will be displayed in the White House. (Official White House Photo by Chuck Kennedy)
Given that I am from the South, it’s totally unsurprising that I am concerned about Obama getting a chance for a second term. None of the states in the deep South – Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, Louisiana, Mississippi are even in the running for Obama. They are red, red, RED! So, the messages that I kept seeing and hearing in my friendly neighborhood were decidedly anti-Obama.
Interestingly, the majority of my Indian-American friends are either vociferously for Obama or are maintaining their silence – as if they feel like they cannot be vocal if in fact they are not for Obama (or maybe it’s just me that they’re silent with…now, there’s something unsurprising to think about). The pro-Obama desis are overwhelmingly in the majority and loud about it so I can’t name a single Patel, Rao, Sharma, Shah, Reddy, Singh, etc.… who claims to be backing Romney (yet).
Not so my American friends in the South. In this case, it’s quite the opposite – so hard for me to find anyone who is FOR Obama. 😦
These Americans are dear friends or respected colleagues of mine but many of them think that Obama is bad for the country – either he is a socialist (new myth), or fiscally irresponsible (wow…compared to W?) or they just have an innate dislike for him that they cannot or will not explain. (At least not to me).
Of course, I am pretty passionate(!) about who I think needs to be President for the next four years. So perhaps I just make it difficult for people who don’t support my opinion to come clean with me. Yes, I can certainly see that happening. So, I tried to be prudent by avoiding talk of politics among these circles. What’s the use? It’s not like I can get them to change their mind. And it’s not like their different political view changes my friendship or regard.
What’s also interesting to me is the fact that I have yet to run into anyone who has not already made up their mind. Where are all those large numbers of undecideds and independent/swing voters lurking anyway? Not in the South!
President Barack Obama gets ready as the G8 leaders line up outside of Aspen Cabin before the family photo at Camp David, Md., May 19, 2012. Standing with the President, from left, are: José Manuel Barroso, President of the European Commission, Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev of Russia, Prime Minister Yoshihiko Noda of Japan, Prime Minister Stephen Harper of Canada, President François Hollande of France, Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany, Prime Minister David Cameron of the United Kingdom, Prime Minister Mario Monti of Italy, and Herman Van Rompuy, President of the European Council. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
What is so unsettling to me is that something that I and many others think should be a slam dunk for Obama simply isn’t.
Mitt Romney, his supporters and Republicans in general will be out-spending Obama almost 2 to 1 during the months and days leading up to D-day. That’s scary. Because we all know that marketing campaigns and promotion – especially negative (vicious!) advertising works so well in America.
I was only in the country for a couple of weeks and in spite of the personal joy and satisfaction that I got from being at home, this worry simply won’t go away.
I expect to return to the US to stay put sooner or later and I cannot imagine returning to a country where Obama has been a one-term president. I just can’t! 😦
But hey, who ever said life was fair, right? History has only one chance of getting written and whatever will be, will be. So, why waste time worrying?
Instead, best to simply celebrate all the things that Obama has done to make the country a better one for its people during his first term (while remembering the 2008 alternative: McCain/Palin). And be so glad that he had at least four years to do it. [Here is an impressive list of his achievements. And here’s another one]. As a BIG bonus, the Supreme Court (and Chief Justice John Roberts!) in a surprise ruling to everyone, upheld the affordable health care act that was a key accomplishment of the Obama administration.
Not that I’m giving up on 2012 or anything like that. Far from it! I’m just working on stifling that worry disease I seem to have on this topic.
The other thing for me to do is to turn that worry into something productive and useful – by doing whatever (little) is in my control that I can put to work to fight for his second term. I also turn to things like this fabulous electoral map and cartogram to keep the hope alive (hey, so what if it’s from huffpost?). There’s also an earlier less positive view from NY Times that’s worth looking at which allows you to see various scenarios that could unfold. Great graphs and charts, all in all!
So, as I sit here writing this, I am telling myself more than once – don’t worry, be happy. At the end of the day, what will be will be. And if (god forbid!) what we are handed to us is indeed a lemon, we’ve got to figure out a way to make lemonade from it. It’s what makes life (and politics) so…interesting.
President Barack Obama talks to kids during a stop at the Boys and Girls Clubs of Cleveland on Broadway Avenue in Cleveland, Ohio, June 14, 2012. (Official White House Photo by Pete Souza)
The Yin and Yang of Life Anywhere 